The End
by bunnypotter
Summary: This story is told to be somewhat depressing. I found it quite interesting specially with what I'm actually trying to point out, which comes at the end. Hope who ever reads it enjoys it as much as I do :)


The End

The first and last time I felt happy was that day. That day were I spent a whole day with my special someone, the only day we were entirely dedicated to each other. It could have gone longer, but… the car. The wine. The hour. The night. The rain. The light. The scenery. All things that seemed beautiful in the moment, and even a while longer after that. They all had to change. Why, I don't know, but at the same time; I guess that's the way life works. You never know why things happen, you just learn to appreciate them for as long as you can. You never know when they'll get taken away from you.

My question is still, why I had to learn this with you in the way it happened. I loved you. No, not love in past tense, I still do. I love you, and it hurts me that you left in that way, I miss the way you used to be. Loving and caring, just a few days away, but I guess that doesn't matter to you anymore. The last time I saw you was the best day of my life, excluding the part when you were taken away from me. You knew me from head to toe, you were probably the only one I ever entirely and truly opened up to. You made me feel things that no one else could, and for that I am grateful. But why does life work like this, as a quote I read before "I'm afraid to be happy, because when I'm happy bad things happen." At first to me that was all a lie, but I guess it might be true after all. I'm most certain about it, because for this to have happened. I'm once again afraid to be happy, wishing I could take the anger inside of me on everyone, but it's not their fault. I would talk to someone, but people have their own problems so why would I get them involved with mine. It's not like they would care anyway. I'll just keep this to my self like I do this with everything else.

The only thing I probably entirely regret about this is, you didn't let me explain to you all of this. I wrote a poem as well but I guess this paper will be the only one to actually see it. So here it goes…

"It all started with a look, simultaneously it was.

To me it was love at first sight, to you it might have simply been a like.

You came to me in a heartbeat. I thank you for all you've done.

You've managed to sweep me off my feet with just the simplest of words.

You've managed to make me cry, with just the thought of you never coming back.

But what you haven't done, even for a second, is managed to make me mad at you.

You've given me reasons to, but I'm afraid that I do, I'll lose you.

The day I lose you will be my last day on Earth so don't go away…"

I never managed to finish the poem, I just wrote whatever I thought. Anything you made me feel, for the time we were together. Now I really don't have anything to write about, with you gone. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you, I tried my best. But my happiness is your happiness, I just wish it was with me… I guess you didn't mean anything you said, maybe you felt sorry for me and that's the only reason you left. But before you left I remember you told me that you couldn't help me anymore. Help me on what? You made me fall in love with you, just so that later on you could just walk away I see you do that to next girl you see. I'm not blaming you for any of this, this was all my fault. I fell into your trap, you're quite good at fooling people. That's in a way admirable, but now my suffering must end. I just wish you told me the real reason for why you did it. Maybe that would help me understand, and not commit the same mistake.

Now it's too late. I don't want to feel this anymore. I wish I could do the same as you and just forget, but it's not that simple. This has happened many times before, I thought you different, but this has haunted me ever since that first "yes". I'm tired of this. In all. I am tired of life; so far that I will do as the poem I intended to give to you but never finished. "The day I lose you will be my last day on Earth…"

As you suspected this is a goodbye letter. I beg you to not call this a suicidal letter, even though you're reading this don't do so. I don't want to seem weak when people saw me as a strong person. The only people that truly knew me were those I opened up to, they'll understand. So if anyone ever finds and bothers to read this. I want for you to keep thinking of some as a strong person that deep inside just wanted to find someone that truly loved her for how she was and not what everyone else saw. Life, I love yet hate you, I'm tired of you doing this to me even after I begged you not to, and you still did. I'll silently curse you out but I won't entirely regret you.

To all of those that stayed by my side when I needed you the most, thank you. For those that hated me, I don't know why you did but I'm sorry for being myself, I'm actually not but you deserve some memory in this as well…

This is the end… goodbye.

She wrote it, but she didn't kill herself… instead what she did was hide the letter in the place where she believes no one will ever find it, until the day she truly dies. She's written many letters, and has experienced the feeling of just giving up on life, but she doesn't have the guts to actually do it. Once you die it not only affects you, it affects that part of you that lived inside everyone else that cares about you… "Samurai way" (Sensei 2014)


End file.
